I'm realizing that I used to be able to hide my quirks better when I was younger. It's as though I'm not even trying, anymore. The shits fully on display, iMax 3D, motherfuckers. 

Maybe incoherent ramblings are a symptom. 

I've been trying to get myself to write 750 words per day and I haven't come close in over a year. I always have something "better" to do, something more worthy of my time. Apparently, eating cereal, masturbating, and listening to Pink Floyd are all more important than the miniscule goal of writing a bit each day. 

'Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.'

'Shine on you crazy diamond.' - Pink Floyd

I hate it when I start a post and have my mood change just after. I had delusions of grandeur of some kind of magnum opis, a pies de resistance, if you will. I was going to go on about liberties, rights, and other things that are being completely demolished by The Powers that Be. I had the whole deal planned out. But, as of right now, it is not meant to be. Knowing me, I will wake up in the middle of the night and scribble more notes on 3-by-5 cards, and that will be the end of it. For now. 

First of all, I believe I need to explain the lack of content on my site. The reason behind this is that I clicked a wrong button and deleted every fucking thing. This really sucks. I checked my Dropbox account, as well as my Documents folders and sadly things such as "Me and I," are gone. I had a lot of shit that I was proud of, and it's all fucking gone.

I have to let it go, I know this. I am accepting the realization of the current developments and moving on. This is why I am writing this post. The previous paragraph was for you guys, not me.

Let's move on.

My dog, Raider, gave birth to five puppies about a month ago. The day they were born, I got off of work and took charge in naming the little gremlins. Here are the near-future shoe chewers and little boy best friends.

WARNING: Their mother's name is Raider, therefore I felt their names had to be fitting.

Introducing RAIDER

This is Raider. She is Awesome Sauce with Mc Donald's Chicken Nuggets. We got her shortly after Veltie was born. No, you can't have her. 

MADDEN

This is Madden, taken from the greatest coach in Raider history. I really hope that you caught that one (John Madden). She is a loner, hates her siblings' company, but enjoys limited human attention. She is a chunky-little-shit.

TIM

Tim is my buddy. He is named after possibly the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, Tim Brown. He is fiesty and loves to play. He is also a bit of an escape artist. He has no problem climbing out of a quite tall box (for him). 

BO

Bo is our other little girl. Her name is taken from the great running back, Bo Jackson. She is probably the calmest puppy I have ever seen. She is the text book definition of Cool.

MARCUS

Marcus is really quiet. His name is taken from Marcus Allen, look him up. Marcus is very shy and quite timid. He isn't really playful, but he does seem to be the target of his siblings' torment. Poor little guy.

HOWIE

Howie is probably the loudest of the bunch. There is absolutely no question when Howie is unhappy, or wants out of the box. He will whine relentlessly until you give him what he wants. Howie's name comes from Howie Long, the great Defensive End and current media personality. 

Well, that's the puppies. Stay tuned for more updates. If you want one of them in a couple of weeks, feel free to email me. I will not ship, and probably only deal with people in the local area, or those that I know. Don't be creepy.

I don't think of myself as eccentric. On the other hand, I don't believe that I am in the same zipcode as normal. When it comes to sanity, I believe that I was absent when those credentials were handed out. The biggest issue in all of this is that I never really feel alone.

I am an asshole, and I accept that. It really doesn't seem to bother me. The issue that bothers me seems to be the fact that I come out any time that there is any kind of hostility aimed at me. I will also come out without any kind of warning, and I appear to do it to protect me. I seem to push me out of the way in these kinds of situations. In these situations, me and I have very little knowledge of each other's existence.

I don't like to think of myself as insane. To me, it's nothing more than a small, cute eccentricity. I believe that it's less a case of a disorder, and more of a disassociation of my characteristics. I could argue (and lose) by saying that they are all me. I is not me, just as I am never myself. Ian is not me, we don't even like similar things, as well as my Little one is not anything like me or any of us. They are all completely separate of me, but still share a mental living space, as well as an executing platform.

They cannot live without me, just as I don't believe that I could exist in a comfortable existence without them. I have dealt with them since I became a lucid child, and I think that I have gained a few along the way.

I know, you think that I'm nuts, and I'm okay with that. Fuck you for your judgemental nature. I've never liked that about you. If I don't think that people will have adverse thought processes to what I have written then I am nuts. One thing that is good in all of this is that anything adverse thrown my way is something that I use to keep my drive, to fuel my desire to progress.

Though, progress isn't everything.

All of this writing doesn't take into account that I only have names for some of them. I am sure that they have their own names, but sometimes it's just easier to say "I," "me," "myself," and such. Ian didn't have a name until my wife named him. The Little one is unnamed and will probably remain that way, purely because his name is more than likely a derivative of my own.

Is this all eccentricities or should someone in my position seek professional help? As I have said, it doesn't seem to interfere in my personal or professional life. I also think that it doesn't adversely effect the lives of those around me. I could be wrong, but no one has come to me, asking if I have ever thought of seeing a shrink (in recent memory). I have also never been forcibly commited into an asylum. I am really looking forward to having some questions answered and some opinions thrown at me. Any input is greatly appreciated and will be thoughtfully read and answered.

Thank you for your time and interest in my interest, and hope to write more for you soon.

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On to a real post.

Upon looking at some news out of the San Francisco Bay Area, I am thinking that this is a move for more of a police state. There was a huge police shoot out on I-580 in Oakland, to the shooting death of a prospective Google employee, I think these are going to be the perfect ammo (pun intended), for an all out gun ban, either in the Bay Area, or throughout California. I really love the people that I affectionately call "stupids." They may not have any mental incapacitates, they could be completely capable of logical thought. It's usually tied completely to their inability to act like a normal human being. They go through life acting as though they only have use of their lizard brain, and choose not to utilize their logical abilities. It is these people who ruin our way of life. They are the reason that our governmental overlords feel as though they need to enforce the "Nanny State." I, personally, blame the stupids of every community for killing off our rights, and annihilating our personal freedoms. The stupids can't raise their children, the government can! The stupids can't keep their lives in order, the government can! You get the point.

I could call them idiots, but they aren't. They are perfectly capable of handling every aspect of their daily lives on their own. It really isn't physically difficult, nor is it rocket science. It's something that people have been doing for thousands of years. But it's this sort of stupidity that has opened up the hole for the government to feel as though it needs to be filled. A hole that entitles the government to take you as their ward. Congratulations, people. You are now the equivalent of a fucking child.

So, what now? It's a hell of a lot harder to back out of the garage, now that you've driven through it, and into the neighbor's pool. How do we fix the mess that we and our parents have gotten us into? We could blame our grandparent's generation, as well. It's their fault that they allowed for the largest government grab bag with "The New Deal." It really has been, since then, that we have spiralled downward into a big government necessity. Before that, the government was actually fearful of sticking their tentacles into their constituent's daily lives. After Franklin Delano Roosevelt tore-ass into the New Deal, and all of it's splendor, and gave us Social Security (and a fucking number to go with it), so-on, and so-forth, it essentially made it okay for the government to regulate every aspect of a given person's daily life. That opened the hole for Lyndon Baines Johnson and Medicaid, and now Barack Obama's Socialized Medical System (whatever it's going to be called).

I'm not completely opposed to social programs. I'm not against all government assistance. I am against the government believing that they can stick in their tentacles, once they agree to assist you. Once Obama's Medical System comes into fruition, do you honestly believe you can continue to eat your Big Macs and fries? Yeah, right. Your Chicken Mc Nuggets are out, too. Why do you think they are trying to kill your sodium intake, as we speak?

I believe that dwelling in the past leaves us there, but not remembering it causes us to relive it. It's all quite simple, really. If we think in ways of constant progression, forgetting all of our accomplishments and losses that got us to this point, we are more than likely going to continue in a constant, downward spiral towards somewhere we have been before. That can be actually and metaphorically. Maybe, even metaphysically.

And that, my friends, brings us to where we are. Currently, we are told about change, and how things are changing, and how to change things that need to be, etc. I really don't mean to be political, but I think that this is a perfect example of spiraling towards where we have already been. In the past fifteen to twenty years of life in the United States, we have lost many of our "inalienable rights." Maybe lost is the wrong word. They aren't completely gone, just gravely whittled away.

Along with our tattered rights, we are constantly inundated by key words, like "change." It wasn't just Obama who has these. Bush did, too. The current issue is more of a look towards the days of the German Worker's Party, Socialist Nazi Germany, the USSR, Stalin's rhetoric, bread lines, and all the other great things that come with an ill directed socialist society.

Don't kid yourselves, kids. We are always days away from becoming a completely Socialist society. Good bad, or otherwise, I honestly believe that Obama is a good guy, who is smart, with a good heart, that is in the right place. I, however do not agree with his policies. I disagree with those policies even more when I think about what is possible in the future. Look at it this way, Obama could create the Great Socialist Utopia, complete with socialized medicine, food, shelter, breadlines, the whole nine yards. He could be so great that we repeal the twenty-second amendment, and he could serve longer than FDR, maybe until death. Then the Catholics could canonize him and the world is better off. Here lies the issue, who comes after him? Someone as great, or someone with ill intentions. Someone who could take this Socialist Utopia and turn it into something closely mirroring George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four.

What then? Our fucking rights were completely obliterated to create the utopia that you all wanted. There's no protesting. The first amendment was repealed after you guys got your fucking Fairness Doctrine. You have no right to assemble, no freedom of speech. You'd be lucky if you make it through all of this with a freedom of religion. I really wouldn't doubt us moving toward a Chinese style of state, where you are not allowed to express your religious freedoms. Another possibility would be that after all of the Muslim extremism, people may be afraid to practice religion outside of their own houses, out of fear of being ridiculed our blown-the-fuck-up. All of this is possible, even with the first amendment's statement of no official state religion.

Fear. This is how the government has enslaved us and has kept us that way. It is only going to get worse, my friends. We can preach about the internet and how it frees us, but lets be honest. How many heads of government (including the United States) have been given what equates to an Internet Kill-switch? Oh, do you slaves want to speak out against me/us? The internet is shut off for a later determined amount of time.

Piracy. Another nifty meaningless keyword that our governments like to throw around. Vice President Joe Biden equated internet piracy to a smash and grab. Though I am against piracy, and I do see it as theft, I have a hard time drawing the same lines that he has. With internet piracy, there is no vandalism. He's making it sound like it's a fucking hold up, and people are shot, and real destruction and physical damage is occurring. Is he fucking retarded? Do our government officials actually hear themselves, as the falsehoods pour out of their mouths, like diarrhea?