Me and I

     Who am I going to be today?

I don't think of myself as eccentric. On the other hand, I don't believe that I am in the same zipcode as normal. When it comes to sanity, I believe that I was absent when those credentials were handed out. The biggest issue in all of this is that I never really feel alone.

I am an asshole, and I accept that. It really doesn't seem to bother me. The issue that bothers me seems to be the fact that I come out any time that there is any kind of hostility aimed at me. I will also come out without any kind of warning, and I appear to do it to protect me. I seem to push me out of the way in these kinds of situations. In these situations, me and I have very little knowledge of each other's existence.

I don't like to think of myself as insane. To me, it's nothing more than a small, cute eccentricity. I believe that it's less a case of a disorder, and more of a disassociation of my characteristics. I could argue (and lose) by saying that they are all me. I is not me, just as I am never myself. Ian is not me, we don't even like similar things, as well as my Little one is not anything like me or any of us. They are all completely separate of me, but still share a mental living space, as well as an executing platform.

They cannot live without me, just as I don't believe that I could exist in a comfortable existence without them. I have dealt with them since I became a lucid child, and I think that I have gained a few along the way.

I know, you think that I'm nuts, and I'm okay with that. Fuck you for your judgemental nature. I've never liked that about you. If I don't think that people will have adverse thought processes to what I have written then I am nuts. One thing that is good in all of this is that anything adverse thrown my way is something that I use to keep my drive, to fuel my desire to progress.

Though, progress isn't everything.

All of this writing doesn't take into account that I only have names for some of them. I am sure that they have their own names, but sometimes it's just easier to say "I," "me," "myself," and such. Ian didn't have a name until my wife named him. The Little one is unnamed and will probably remain that way, purely because his name is more than likely a derivative of my own.

Is this all eccentricities or should someone in my position seek professional help? As I have said, it doesn't seem to interfere in my personal or professional life. I also think that it doesn't adversely effect the lives of those around me. I could be wrong, but no one has come to me, asking if I have ever thought of seeing a shrink (in recent memory). I have also never been forcibly commited into an asylum. I am really looking forward to having some questions answered and some opinions thrown at me. Any input is greatly appreciated and will be thoughtfully read and answered.